farmdoc's blog post number 407

In a perfect world 50% of car drivers would be above average and 50% below. But in case you hadn’t noticed, the world’s imperfect. The percentage of drivers rating themselves above average varies. But it’s mostly in the 80-95% range [1,2,3]. Me? I’m in the minority. As I’ve written, I’ve successfully completed the Tasmanian Fire Service’s Drive vehicles under operational conditions course. But still, I have no illusions about my driving ability. I’m a below average driver. No ifs, buts or maybes. Which brings me to today’s story. A week ago, after dinner with friends, I was driving Sweetheart Vivienne home along Highway 1. It was dark and drizzly. Suddenly my rear-view mirror lit up with a horizontal line of red and blue strobe lights. I pulled to the left to let the emergency services vehicle pass. But it didn’t. Then I knew I was in shtook. I slowed to a stop. The police car stopped behind. I got out, walked up to the woman police officer, and asked what I’d done. She said I was weaving over the road, and also driving at 90km/hour in a 110 zone. The former was garbage. The latter was fact. I am a slow driver. I drive for economy, not performance. The roadside ads here say ‘It’s a limit, not a challenge’. But being under the speed limit’s apparently a tell for drunk driving. I was breathalysed. I blew zero. Naturally. She bade me good evening. I reciprocated. I drove off. Yes folks, I was pulled over for driving too slowly. QED.