If the world’s divided into introverts and extroverts then no doubt I’m an introvert. Which explains why I’m a physician and not a surgeon. Because physicians are introverts whereas surgeons are extroverts. In other words, extroverts become surgeons, and who’s left become physicians. We introvert physicians, being thoughtful and sensitive folk, are oft amused by the antics of our surgeon colleagues. I’ve read no better account of this friendly rivalry, than in this article in the MJA’s Christmas issue. It’s a tongue-in-cheek parody. And like all good parodies, it contains more than a modicum of truth. I especially like the jokes: ‘What is the difference between an orthopaedic surgeon and a carpenter? The carpenter knows the name of more than one antibiotic.’ ‘How do you hide something from an orthopaedic surgeon? Put it in a book.’ And ‘Did you hear we have employed a holistic orthopaedic surgeon? He cares about the whole bone and not just the fracture’. Also surgeons’ boilerplate logic: ‘You need an operation. I will do an operation. The operation is done. You are better now. Goodbye’. Finally I had a Yuletide chuckle at the Competing interests disclaimer: ‘The author has received hospitality, friendship and gifts of wine from a number of surgeons and is keen to point out that the content of this article in no way refers to them. He is, however, not planning to have any elective surgery in the foreseeable future’. Prof. Bowden, you’re a hoot!
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